Hey there, I'm Don. 22 years old, and a passenger of the roller coaster of life. Luckily not doing it alone, and have the most supportive and amazing girl on the planet by my side. And having a kickass group of friends helps too. My mind works in a nonstop visual manner, and I'm always looking to learn new things. So maybe stick around and see what we can teach or show each other.

To pick up from where I left last night..

My dad invited me to join him and his girlfriends family for a vacation at the end of next month. I’m 21 years old, and this is the first offer from anyone in the family to join them on a vacation. The kicker is that, according to him, the only way I can join him is if I pay my own way. But he’s paying for her kids, and putting forward the gas money and things that accompany everything else to getting to Albany. His flesh and blood, and I have to pay my own way to be around racist (towards dad and I at least), grumpy, people. It’s amazing how much of a joke the things that happen in my life really are sometimes.. 

Mom also invited me to vacation with her, Brian, and the kids. They’re looking to do something in July. The original plan was to go somewhere on the shore, but they had some unexpected costs and had to make different arrangements. They actually want to come near me, and tour through Philly and the like with me. And not that the costs will be much, other than food, but they’re going to pay my whole way. Strange how different my parents handle things, I think.

I submitted all my stuff for school today. Mailed all the documentation, sent them my essay. Before I know it, it’s going to be time to audition, and then who knows? I’m still not nervous or anything like that. But I can’t help but want to sit on a rooftop and talk to someone about all this change that’s happening in my life. And I don’t even necessarily mean the change of just my personal life. A lot has happened with the people around me in the past few weeks. I’m not at liberty to post any of the information here, but it’s all very big stuff. We’re all ending up spreading out, and I’m not really sure where we’ll end up. I don’t want to lose any of them, I know that. I can only hope that they feel the same. 

When I was at mom’s over the weekend I laid under the stars. First time I’ve really been able to do that in months. Somehow it felt different than it has in the past. Maybe it’s because of all that’s going on. By the time I got up off the hood of the truck, I felt a cold spot on my chest, perhaps wanting someone on it to warm it. All these people tell me I’m a good person, and a nice guy, and yet alls that I really am is lonely. How does one translate to the other?

I should probably stop here, as my thoughts are getting all scrambled before even leaving my fingers. Not like anyone is really gonna pay this much mind. But, if you read it, thanks. Even if I don’t know your eyes have scanned my thoughts, I appreciate you. 

What I Would Give

For this night to never end
I’d rather lay under stars with you
looking up, my face with a gentle bend
A smile upon my face
with you it’s never out of place
Stress free in a stress filled world
the business and noise stops when I’m by your side girl 
But now I’m not next to you
I’m seven feet off the ground
hard swallow through my throat, as I lean over, look down
What would happen if I were to fall
Would I bounce like a ball?
or would I lay there motionless
would I shout or remain speechless
a fall from here might hurt me, but I think it’d relieve the stress
I’ve been going through so much so lately
Things seem to go well, but it’s really life’s way to bait me
think I’ve got a winner, a way to enjoy my life
hang everything I enjoy by thread, and then cut it down with a knife
Things were well
and now look at them; they fell
back to wishing life was more
back to thinking what it’d be like from the floor
looking up through the ceiling, wishing there were stars
looking into your eyes, realizing, there are

Do

Any of you realize how small we are? And how much I miss the stars? I love my city. It is a piece of me, and always will be. But I miss being able to look up and remember there are other things above us, other than smog and pollution. I never got to lay under the sky and stargaze with anyone, and I really would like to. The other night I mentioned Aurora Borialis. And people didn’t even know what it was.. I have only seen parts of the beauty of the Northern Lights, but they really are amazing. And I will never see them here. I just want to be able to dream again..