”A Reply From CEO of J.P. Morgan To A Pretty Girl Seeking A Rich Husband”.. !
A young ‘n pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
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Title: What Should I do to Marry A Rich Guy?
I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here. I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style ‘n good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income,’n it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names ‘n addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks ‘n are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, ‘n who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
A Philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope
everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” ‘n “money” : Person A provides beauty,’n Person B pays for it, fair ‘n square.
However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, ‘n you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”.
If the trade value dropped we will sell it ‘n it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”.
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. ‘n by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in “leasing” services, do contact me.
J.P. Morgan CEO..
That counts as a burn of epic proportions, yeah?
this is sooo ridic i love it.
JUST PRESS PLAY.
Anybody who grew up in the 90’s and doesn’t know this song is a deprived child.
This song will haunt me even when i’m dead.
started dancing in my seat.
ALWAYS reblog <333333
FOREVER REBLOG <3
HOOOOOLY SHIIIIT, THIS WAS MY FAVORITE SONG WHEN I WAS LIKE 3. AKJHDKSJAGDHKSJAGHDSALKG
I SO REMEMBER THIS
Now it’s stuck in my head T__T
^ THAT TAEMIN GIF IS SO DAMN ACCURATE
the notes. the gifs. i love tumblr.
I pressed play and was like
I USED TO LOVE THIS SONG TO BITS
Bopping along to it in my seat. one of the reasons why I love tumblr so much :3
Just got up and had a dance party by myself because no one else is home.
THE GIFS ARE SO DAMN ACCURATE.
the commens, the gifs, this post =] <3
AWH THATS MA JAM! FOREVER REBLOG! <3
MEMORIES!!! AHAHA! love!
Legit I started playing this and 4 guys from my fraternity ran in and we started dancing. I love college